On Thursday, July the 14th 2016, 29 days after the passing of Richard’s father, we welcomed our first born son into our lives. We are so happy and proud. It was love and also confusion at first sight.
If you don’t want to read my labor story please skip ahead to the next set of
On the 13th of July, I went to the doctor for another prenatal checkup. I was 40 weeks and 4 days past due. I was super fed up with being pregnant and I had the firm belief that labor was not going to start on its own. We tried everything from sexy times, to warm baths, bouncing on birth balls and everything else. The past week at the previous appointment, I had shown signs of high blood pressure and asked if it was possible to be induced right on my due date, no go. The high b/p was probably more due to my stress and anxiety of my boy being born stillborn. (I had an extreme fear of this.)
I jumped on that like a fly on a turd. I said, “I want to go now, right now.” He called the hospital and I stopped by my grandmother’s to let her know that it was baby time, grabbed the last of what I thought I needed from home and went.
I was given Cervadil —
By 5pm I was 6cm dilated and I finally conceded that I couldn’t handle the pain and asked for an epidural since the anesthesiologist was making his rounds. I was having tremors so badly in response to the pain, Richard kept asking if I was having seizures. I internalize physical pain so I wasn’t really doing more than grimacing and occasionally crying quiet tears/squeezing the ever loving crap out of his hand.
By 7pm it all went down hill fast. I quickly escalated to 9 centimeters. The nurses asked if I had any urge to push but the epidural worked so well on my right side that I wasn’t 100% sure. The crappy thing about that epidural was that my left side kept wearing off and so I’d feel this awful pain in my groin on the left. 7:15PM rolls around and I’m already pushing without realizing that’s what I was doing. The nurse starts freaking out because as I’m doing this, baby’s HR kept decelerating to zero.
They rolled me back and forth (though I was so withdrawn at this point that I screamed for them to stop and leave me on my side) to try and relieve the pressure on the baby or his cord whichever was causing the decels. It didn’t work. 6 more nurses showed up and began screaming for me to stop pushing. Again, I’m so withdrawn from the pain and all I can hear the little voice in my head say is, “Stop? Stop?! NO U. I can’t @#%$ing stop!” Richard started yelling it too and I managed to stop pushing.
In comes the doctor, having been interrupted at dinner (I was told he BARELY sat down with a tray before the cafe closed) just to deliver my son. Poor guy probably couldn’t even wash his hands before having to glove up and get to work because I was already crowning. After 4 huge pushes, and some murmurs that if I couldn’t do it that they’d push him back in and go for an emergency c-section, Turkey popped out. He didn’t really cry at first, but after stimulation he cried with a beautiful lusty cry. Scored 8 on the 1 minute APGAR and 9 on his 5 and 10 minute APGAR.
Due to the near-miss this had become, I was unable to do delayed cord clamping. Richard was able to make a secondary cut in the cord closer to where the stump would be since the OB had to get it cut fast. Of course, most of this story comes second-hand from Richard, whatever I could process through hearing and from video as our delivery was filmed from start to finish. (The actual delivery starting with the rolling/pushing).
Turkey was born at 8:06PM/20:06PM, July the 14th of 2016 at 6 lbs, 6 ounces and 19 inches long. I’m grateful to have him and Richard both.
I was not in pain during pushing, it literally was exactly as my nurse described: Like taking a dump. I didn’t even notice–thank you, epidural– that I had a 2nd degree vaginal tear and a 1st degree urethral tear. For such a small baby, that’s a lot of damage.
It’s been a challenging week + 5 days postpartum. I’m frustrated a lot with Turkey, especially at night. I enjoy my sleep but he struggles so hard to sleep at night. It’ll pass, I know it will, and I’m doing my best to just put up with it. I still kinda wanna just crawl in a hole and sleep though. The exhaustion is unreal. Again, though, I am so grateful for Turkey and I am extremely grateful for Richard. He made my labor and delivery as soothing as he possibly could. He stood by my side and held my hand the whole way through. Start to finish.